Relationships – Making them work
We experience many types of relationships in our daily lives: lover, friend, parent, child, teacher, mentor, coach, boss, colleague, and business partners just to mention a few.
All these relationships differ in their purpose, duration, and quality. The way in which one person’s energy is connected and exchanged with another will define the purpose, duration, and quality of the relationship. Sometimes the purpose of a relationship escapes us let alone coming to grips with the way it works.
When considering romantic relationships there are two key elements at play: chemistry and longevity. Chemistry may get a relationship going, but if there are no signs of longevity in the horoscope the relationship really will be a passing phase and it does not matter if it is a straight relationship or same-sex couple. There are no less than 26 points that tell us that their chemistry is working. And then there is the quality, will the relationship be harmonious and congenial or will it be a compulsive relationship from hell! How these points connect will tell us about the quality and the ease or difficulty experienced by the couple. Not all points of contact need to be present however the greater the number, the stronger the attraction.
Longevity requires other combinations and the lack of these explains why we find some people attractive and enticing yet never seem to get past first base! Though most people chuckle about how they survived the seven-year itch, however, surprise, surprise, that broadly correlates to a significant astrological cycle that culminates between 28 and 30 years of age and then again between 56 and 58 years of age and again in ones mid 80’s. This is only one of many significant astrological cycles that coincide with key periods of growth, challenge and change in our lives. Although they can be positive, for the most part, they often correlate with emotional isolation, job change and or the break-up in a relationship. Nevertheless, if the fabric of the relationship is strong and focuses on what ‘we want’ instead of what ‘I want’, couples usually emerge more strongly connected then ever. Astrologers can discuss the substance of the relationship: its endearing qualities, its pitfalls and blockages, along with the exact dates these cycles hit and last from one week or up to one year.
Many people ask, ‘What type of person should I look for?’ Unfortunately, this is not as simple as people might hope as there is much, much more to a person than sun-sign compatibility, and to consider them with less than the whole picture sells them short. One could say that all the fire signs, Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius: connect enthusiastically, the earth signs, Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn, connect practicality, the air signs, Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius connect intellectually and finally, the water signs Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces connect emotionally. Although this is an indication of common ground it does not consider the method by which a person is emotionally fulfilled, communicates, achieves their goals, or defines their values. It also does not mean an Aries and Scorpio relationship will fail. It means it is likely to be hard work appreciating the others perspective, drives, wants, and needs.
Relationships for the contemporary astrologer are about identifying the fundamental wants and needs of the individual, what they seek to satisfy by forming relationships, and how to select partners more effectively. In other words, how are you hardwired, mentally, emotionally, and physically? Are you predisposed to having a long-term relationship or is it your ‘thing’ to merely play the field? It is not appropriate to assume that everybody wants a long-term relationship and if they do, what ‘rules’ do they expect to be in play. For example, some relationships have an emphasis on freedom, not that they are necessarily permissive, the individuals involved just may need considerable personal space. Alternatively, there are some relationships, where couples almost dissolved into each other and become inseparable. Neither is good or bad, it just is, and identifying these qualities is extremely important for the success and longevity of the relationship.
Let’s not forget sexual compatibly in a relationship! Do the horoscopes come together in a way that suggests good sexual compatibility? Astrologers can generally tell!
A recent relationship consultation showed the female to be deeply intense, quite secretive with issues about her self-worth; she was not very trusting and had a deep fear of being vulnerable. She was always looking for proof and it did not matter what the poor fellow did. It was never enough. She had him emotionally hooked and every time he would do something to accommodate her. She would lift the bar, a little bit higher, and demand more. She was not always conscious of this behaviour which was driven by her need to maintain control.
He could move between being a lover and a fighter and acknowledged his sheer frustration in not getting anywhere. Apart from tremendous personal charisma, this man had an almost insatiable drive to achieve in his chosen profession. He spoke of his deep love for this woman who was somewhat younger than himself and he was at a loss as to how two people could love each other yet find themselves in their current circumstances. He also liked control.
The horoscope indicated good sexual compatibility and the potential for a long-term relationship. A good thing considering that is what both want to achieve and given both had issues around control it became obvious that they need to develop a strategy where they remained open to possibilities i.e., the other person’s opinion. Although this couple were communicating, yet they were not communicating effectively and so we discussed the method of communication and what they could do in order that they could develop a pattern around effective communication, as opposed to their communication being confused and misinterpreted. This couple has a lot going for them and developing good communication practices now will set the relationship up more positively for the future.
The feedback on one consultation follows:
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! For the astrology reading and for everything you worked through on Friday afternoon. It has been a huge help in gaining a greater understanding of what has been going on and assisting me in gaining some clarity on how to better deal with things moving forward. [My partner] and I have been communicating well since and have been able to get to the bottom of what’s been going on! It is not all bad, I am relieved, and we have established a much better line of communication from here…We both agreed we have issues to resolve and work on and just need to tackle it a bit at a time.
Contemporary astrologers cut through the outer trappings of sophistication and intellectual banter to get to the core of the individual, usually in less than an hour. In the modern world when people do not have time to go through the discovery phase in courtship astrology provides precise, timely and accurate analysis so you know what you are up for well in advance. Now that makes for informed choice, combined with the art of perfect timing!